Right along with being happy, sad, or melancholy, sometimes I wonder if adoption is a state of being that takes on a whole new way of feeling that can't be described. I know that what I just proposed is not to be taken literally, but I just have to wonder sometimes. What I have learned through all of the ups and downs of adoption is to LOVE today. God has designed this day, September 24, 2008, to be the day that He has waited for thousands of years to make. And even though it is 10pm and almost over, I need to appreciate the value of today and what He is doing now. Sometimes we can get caught up with trying to hurry up to get to the next faze, goal, or whatever benchmark we're trying to get to, that we forget that THIS day might be what He has been trying to get us to. Even though it may seem insignificant and uneventful, I don't want to miss IT!! I really want to see what He is doing and understand the journey He has me on. In reflecting on the experience we had last week, I am able to see how God has used it for good. When we were considering this young man, we also settled it in our hearts that we would adopt an infant girl as well. When we learned we wouldn't be able to adopt the older child, we couldn't let go of the idea of adopting a baby girl. So, I am thankful for this day; for on this day the things I am learning and the things that are happening are having an effect on my tomorrow ;)
This has been quite the emotional week for Kevin and I. We had been praying and opening up our hearts to the possibility of having the young man that we asked everyone to pray for. We really felt led to pursue him. Somehow, the young man was referred to another family. We were absolutely shocked, and I personally was devastated. BUT, I know God allowed this to happen, and we are trusting in Him to take care of it all; especially this young man in Ethiopia. He is definitely in our hearts and prayers.
To make a long story short, we are considering adopting a boy who is 5 (ish) who is also hearing impaired. We would also be adopting an infant as well, so we really need God to guide us. PLEASE PRAY!!! We know that this would have a huge impact on our family, so your prayers would be much appreciated!!!
I have been reading the new testament in sequential order, and last Friday I read 2John and 3John, and then came across JUDE (Jude will be the name we use if our child is a boy). It was like the words were jumping off the page for me. It said, "Relax, everything's going to be all right; rest, everything's coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!" (the Message). I'm crying with a big smile on my face while humming that Bob Marley tune in my head!! Later that day, several families get referrals, and guess who jumps into the top five for a baby? Relax, it is all coming together I tell myself. I don't have a single thing planned yet. No baby room. No shopping done. Everything is going to be all right I tell myself. I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl? Open your heart, love is on the way, I remind myself!!! I cannot tell you how thankful I am that God gave me that special verse, and no kidding, I feel like I am walking around with that "don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be all right" in the background!!!